We’re in 2018 and already it’s been the hardest year for me. What everyone warned me against in Denmark – landlords that take advantage of foreign students and workers who don’t know the renting laws so well – has of course happened to me. I got a surprise termination of lease just days before Christmas while I was out of Denmark for a month. I had to cancel some of my travel plans to come back here, to a country where I have no friends, where everything constantly seems more difficult than it should be, a country that I still struggle to like. Every day the news about Danish immigration laws and the attitudes of Danes towards the world come out and make me just a bit more unsure.
Last year it’s really come to a hit – I am not sure what I really want to be doing mostly because I am unsure what makes me happy. I am missing having a community around me, people that I’ve connected with. I feel like I am somehow missing on life, traveling for work so often that I am not a resident in any city.
In Copenhagen, I feel alone though I am surrounded by buildings and people and businesses. I need to make 2018 a new beginning and try to make my life here less temporary. I miss having a schedule like I did in Sydney. Having now worked in three completely different positions at Google, it’s uncanny how they each have their positives and negatives. I no longer think that I am here chasing a position that simply fits completely. Every work will have its downsides and so it’s up to me this year to figure out what downsides I can take and which I need to leave behind.
This year will be long and tough and I already know it will be a year in which I have to make some serious decisions about working in ads, about my relationship, and about settling into a country for longer than two years. I wish I knew where to begin. I wish I knew myself better.