Seconds go by and I confuse myself maybe deliberately or maybe because I ignore life for a while. I go back to old music and I understand what it means to fall into a ring of fire, or to be the two lost souls swimming in fish bowl, or that he’s in the best selling show, or else how it feels to feel again. I feel good and I feel awful at the same time, and those two just interchange with one another based on how much I feel I can share or how safe I feel at the moment. Tears and sex basically exchange one another. I miss one gathering only to be loyal to an idea that will never materialize. I am naive, am I not?
And some days I am actually proud of that. It is a feat of victory to remain dis-attached enough to be considered naive or pathetic, just fighting for something that is long lost. When I am twice my age, then I will allow myself to feel silly to be a romantic and to want everything and to want to be there – right this moment – and keep it forever. But now I just rest my case while the flames went higher.
Who cares? Who judges me if I say stupid shit or I reveal too much? That’s the sad truth. Nobody does. So enjoy the naivety, the lack of judgment and the lack of emotional grounding. Be who you want to be. Fight for what others can’t afford to fight for. And let it burn.