How does it feel to start from the beginning again?

Clean state. Forgetting some HTML. Not really knowing what this space will become. Letting myself be comfortable with this vagueness.

A couple of days ago my birthday arrived and found me in Croatia, a bit unprepared and with zero interest. I was visiting Sara. A serendipitous series of circumstances – and there I was, with her, in one of her homes, after four, five years?

The days were calm and airy. I did not have a plan and I could not care less. I was mainly interested in reflecting about where I was because I have been having a serious case of restlessness. I am waiting for some final words about where I am going to be living next year and what I will be doing. For the time being, I would like to stay at Google but I need to make meaningful changes about my focus and projects.

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them. 

For the past couple of years (but it may easily be for my whole life) I have been driven by a series of occurrences. In the end I always had the deciding power of course, but I let myself spread widely and let others carve the path. What I want to say is that I did not work hard to get where I wanted to get. I lacked a clear desire to be in one place over another, with too many choices and too few preferences, the world was completely open.

Nothing changed. I will still be there, trying out my life what it would be like in a new country, with new references, collaborating on new projects, being a new person. But I will spend this upcoming year letting myself carve the path. I will make conscious decisions to educate myself instead of relying on my curiosity. I will work hard.

Focus for the last four months:

  • make conscious decisions
  • be mindful of where you are and what’s next
  • organize what you need and what is superfluous
  • write simply
  • build foundations
  • be calm

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